Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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