That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm like, not good at living.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
