i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
