I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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