listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
where are my eyebrows?
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