I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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