I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
