Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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