i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
