It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
