you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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