Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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