spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
