Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
