Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
