You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
