I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We are two peas in an std pod
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
