pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
