Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
