is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
