ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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