Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
