imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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