Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
