just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
