Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
