Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The air was thick with penises
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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