Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
