I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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