ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
