Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
they're like a gay fantastic four
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
