Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I pour the whiskey from now on
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
