Plan B is the new Plan A
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
