I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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