yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
