another moral hangover. fuck.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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