Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
