Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We're too hungover to prance.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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