My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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