I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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