Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
