I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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