Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
