it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
