It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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