Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
