how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
how drunk are you?
Several
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm always down for nudity.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
