Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
