I skipped work to stalk him.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
