It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
there is puke in my bra ... again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
