i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
