she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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