Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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