Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
actually, I'm a sock model
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Randomize
