And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
