I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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