hell yes lets make some ravioli
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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