I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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