i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
